Given that we always have a lot to do, it’s not surprising that we don’t have time for many things we might like. However, if we listen to the heart, it can teach us much about what we really value. In fact, the world’s work might feel less dense and somber when it includes listening to the heart. That way there’s pain, yes. But joy, too. Here are some experiments we could make to go further.
For example, if an unexpected emotion transfixes you, try not to move away from it too quickly, even though the horses of desire or duty are already pulling at the reins. It may be as inconsequential as delight in the sunlight on your face, or as meaningful as the touch of a beloved hand. So why not slip it into the pocket of your heart the way a child squirrels away a pretty stone? We are secretly nourished when we savor such moments a little longer.
It’s worth paying attention to any tentative beginnings of joy or pleasure that may surge up from nowhere. Your recognition of them may be fleeting, but don’t cut them short. Stay there long enough to take them in. And if you should catch yourself rushing away in denial, accept that you are face to face with an emotional habit. I sometimes ask myself, “Why did I say ‘no’ so fast?” If I can realize that, I can try to be more alert next time. So let’s ask, “Why do I cut myself off when emotion rises from an unknown source?” Then we can choose to live more deeply.
Another approach to awakening our listening-to-the-heart powers is to ask from time to time, “What do I really like right now?” You never know what might come to mind in the midst of a busy moment. We may approve or disapprove of our own reaction, but that’s not the point. And maybe at the end of the day, we could make a list of our favorite things and activities. And ask, “Could I make time for any of them right now, or at least sometime tomorrow?”
On the other hand, if what’s on your list no longer attracts you when you’re in the heat of the action, ask whether your head is domineering your heart. Write down in your journal what turns you off, annoys you, or makes you really angry. Once you’ve decided to explore this uncharted territory, you can go in search of less obvious likes and dislikes.
When we travel below our everyday habits and below the mind’s approval, below the rules we’ve set for ourselves in a challenging world, we may discover that different inner personas like or dislike different things. Believe it or not, there may be a whole cast of characters somewhere in there! Plus someone unknown in each us, a person we sometimes glimpse for a moment or perhaps have never met. We will come closer to knowing the likes and dislikes of the head and heart if we write down any discoveries.
Another important aspect of this study is how you exchange with others. The smile on someone’s face might make you smile back before you remember you don’t know or don’t like this person. Or you may surprise yourself smiling at the sound of a song, the swish of a skirt, the smell of a flower or a muffin. Sometimes, when least expected, a feeling can take us to a place once known but long gone. It’s worth our while to spend a moment with it, even write about it. We are gathering precious treasures, mining for gold that’s already there in us, waiting.
One thing is sure. If we pay more attention to these special moments of discovery, they will happen more often. We can learn to cherish them because they are telling us who we are — both the person we think we are, and the person in ourselves we may not know at all!
