Surprised by Love

The things I love are important, no matter how inconsequential they may appear to the rational mind. Whether it be a flower, a silken skirt or my own true partner, what I love introduces me to myself. It may be a ‘me’ I don’t know well or have paid little attention to. Whether it’s a tiny corner or even a huge part of me, I need to know it better. Whatever I love needs to be appreciated because it is nourishment for the heart.

Then why do I turn away so often? How many times have I begun to pause and shift into a quieter mode because I was touched by something I saw or heard or felt. But then I’d mutter, “No time for this!” and push on to the next task without giving the present inner experience its due. Yes, it’s important to be on time, to deliver the goods, to keep one’s word (and one’s job!), but don’t make the mistake I made for so many years. Don’t move on too quickly, away from that brief moment of recognition, of inner communication with a gentler aspect of yourself.

There are all kinds of reasons to move away from the taste of love. Perhaps I’m not prepared for it. I’m taken by surprise and can’t digest this new message. Sometimes there’s just too much on my plate and I fear an emotional train wreck if I open myself to something new. So I switch back into what I’m ready for. Marion Woodman spoke to all of us when she said: “The fear of receiving resonates in the deepest levels of the psyche. To receive is to let life happen, to open to grief and loss, to open to love and delight.”

When I open to what touches me — whether it’s a flower, a personal exchange, a gift given or received — it lives on in me. It lights a hungry, dark corner inside that needs these moments much as a seed needs water. Such precious moments should never be glossed over quickly. Here I am, here where I love, here where I recognize an affinity I may not understand. It is here that new connections are forged, even if just for a glancing moment.

At such times I need to pause and recognize the value of what has broken through my inner defenses. Where did it come from and what inspired it? I love. I am nourished. Why was I so passive to it?

Personally, I love words. I delight in discovering the perfect phrase to clarify what I’m trying to say. I also love a good joke, although I seldom remember them long enough to pass them on. I love to laugh, but how many laughs have I stifled? I love to dance but how many times have I held my body still? I love to sing but how many songs have died on my lips?

As we grow up, we inevitably turn our backs on many pleasures. And there’s a reason for it. School and college studies take up our time. Then finding and keeping a job, raising a family or becoming part of a social circle where we can function and serve. All this adds up to saying “no” to some things because we choose to say “yes” to others. But now is the time to rediscover some of those simple pleasures, to treasure what we love and welcome it even when we’re busy.

The ancient Celtic tradition, interpreted for us by John O’Donohue, celebrates Anam Cara (Gaelic for “soul friend”) — love of the friend within, love of your Self. “The soul needs love as the body needs air,” he writes. “In the warmth of love, the soul can be itself. All the possibilities of your human destiny are asleep in your soul. You are here to realize and honor those possi- bilities. When love comes into your life, unrecognized dimensions of your destiny awaken and blossom and grow . . . Love is the threshold where divine and human presence ebb and flow into each other.”

Tune in to Part Two in a couple of weeks!